


Baby, You Can Drive My Car

by A_Zap



Category: Supernatural
Genre: But only hints at any serious romance, Flirting, Gen, Humor, John Barrowman - Freeform, Mostly just for comedy purposes, Slight Pimpala, Slight swearing, lol, slight destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 07:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10917357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Zap/pseuds/A_Zap
Summary: Dean Winchester hates witches, and he is not happy when one decides to mojo his car into a human. Now, he has to deal with the Impala constantly flirting with Castiel and his brother’s constant knowing looks. It really is not the best day of his life.Featuring: John Barrowman as the Human!Impala





	Baby, You Can Drive My Car

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written and published on FF.net on June 6, 2015. Features John Barrowman as the Human!Impala.
> 
> Slight Pimpala and Destiel.

Let it be known to everyone that Dean Winchester hates witches.

Witches had always been a pain in Dean’s rear. As if their magic wasn’t enough, they had the most unsanitary rituals in existence, and this was coming from a guy with an angel friend who had a tendency to pop open a vein whenever some angelic ceremony had to take place. Witches also had a habit of consorting with demons. They were selfish and thought that they could do anything they wanted. They also tended to have no compassion for their fellow humans or others who got in their way. Out of all the creatures Dean had faced, witches were probably the absolute worse.

So Dean hated this case from the get-go.

He and Sam had picked up signs of witches in a normal, middle-of-nowhere town. That was the only reason for the weird crap that was going on. Except then there were some strange signs, even for a witchy case. This came in the form of several Enochian symbols that the Winchesters had no clue what they meant.

So they called Cas.

Actually, he should have been on his way there right then, but Dean wasn’t thinking about that. He also couldn’t call upon Sam who was at the library looking into recent events and trying to find a reason for the slew of spells cropping up around town. They had already found several hex bags at different locations, for seemingly different reasons.

Jesus Christ, he had just wanted some freaking pie!

But of course, with his luck, he ran into the witch at the store, who had apparently heard of him through the supernatural grapevine.

“Kya!” She yelled as she threw some sort of spell at him. Dean ducked and was grateful for his quick reflexes when the bread section exploded. He took a quick breath in relief but it froze in his lungs when he saw that the pie had also been destroyed.

“Hey!” Dean jumped up and yelled. The witch’s blonde curls bounced as she jerked back in surprise. She really was quite pretty with her wide blue eyes and gentle curves, the type of chick the hunter would normally go for. However, this witch had killed his pie. “What did that pie do to you?”

“Uh.” Surprisingly, slight tears sprang up in her eyes. “Leave me alone!” With a quick throw of a suspicious dust and a few chanted words, the shelves in the store began to topple over. Luckily, most customers and employees had cleared out when things started exploding. “I never meant to hurt anyone.” She whined as she made her way to the door, but it was probably hard to do in such high heels 

Dean snorted. “Yeah, right.” He managed to avoid getting crushed by shelves. Unfortunately, he slipped on a fallen can and crashed to the floor. As he was scrambling up, he could hear the witch muttering to herself as she made her way out.

“Winchesters. Just my luck. I can’t have them follow me.” There was a suspicious pause, and as Dean finally became upright, he saw that the witch was standing right next to the Impala.

“No! You leave my Baby alone!” Dean’s heart was beating wildly in fear for his precious car as he ran towards the door. The witch had already opened what was obviously a spell book and was chanting some more. With a swift stab to her hand, she dripped some blood on it and a crack of thunder sounded as a bright light flashed.

Dean stood there for a moment as he blinked the spots from his eyes, and it was a moment too long as the witch threw some dust, said a few words, and poofed away in a cloud of smoke. All that was left was a single high heel like she was Cinderella or something.

Dean no longer cared about the witch anymore, though he knew a raging bloodlust would probably rise soon enough with the need to destroy the bitch, because he had bigger problems. He stared in horror at the spot where just moments ago his Baby had been parked.

It was empty.

Dean sunk to his knees and he couldn’t draw his eyes away. His car, his Baby, was gone. He curled up on the ground, trying to resist the urge to cry. That witch had mojoed his car into non-existence.

How on Earth was he supposed to go on? That car had been as precious as Sam, a member of his family. He had always had the Impala, no matter what. It was his home long before Bobby’s house had been or even the Bunker. He didn’t even have any pie to make this ache go away.

Dean was startled out of his despair by the sound of someone coughing. He looked up and saw a figure crouched down as the smoke from the witch’s spell faded. Brow furrowing, Dean stood and began to approach the person, as it could be a bystander or something that the witch concocted.

It was a guy, he saw quickly, as the person stood and straightened. He was about Cas’s height with dark hair and what seemed to be blue eyes. He was dressed in tight, black leather pants with a black and silver belt around his waist. The belt buckle looked kind of like a license plate with CNK 80Q3 embedded on it. On top, he had a white t-shirt and a black leather jacket with large pockets and silver accents. A leather cap was also perched on his head, with the silver design on it showing the Chevrolet logo. The man was looking down at his hands in wonder, as if he had never seen them before.

“Hey,” Dean said as he came closer. “You alright, man?”

The stranger looked up at him and smiled widely. “Dean!” He said, looking him up and down. His voice was a rich baritone. “I must say it’s a lot different, seeing you like this.”

Instantly, Dean was on his guard. “Have we met?” He asked while reaching for his gun.

The guy laughed, throwing his head back. “Have we met?” He parroted. “Of course, we have! You’re inside me on a regular basis!”

Dean stiffened. “What?! No! I’m not – “ He spluttered. “I don’t do that with guys!”

“Really?” The guy practically purred as he sauntered up to him. He got right up into Dean’s personal space, and Dean leaned back, unused to anyone but Cas being there. “Well,” he gave a flirty smile, “it’s a good thing that I’m not normally a guy.” 

Dean’s brain stopped. He looked the guy over once more, noting the similarities, and the answer came together in his mind. “No way.” He said aloud.

“Yes way.” The guy took a step back, that smile still on his face.

Dean hand came up and he pressed it to his forehead. Today was not his day. “What the hell?”

The man chuckled, amused by his stress apparently.

“No, seriously, what the hell?” Dean shouted, but as he looked at the man more and more, his gut seemed to confirm his guess.

The Impala continued to smile at him.

* * *

“So let me get this straight.” Dean was pacing up and down the motel room. Which he had had to walk to because his car was suddenly human! He took a deep breath and ran his hand down his face. “You’re the Impala.”

“Yep!” The Impala bounced on the bed a bit. He had been a bit excited when he had first entered the room, as he “had never been allowed in one before.” He was still looking all over the room, and at his own tan hands and his boots, which covered his feet. It was like he still couldn’t believe he was flesh and blood rather than metal and oil.

“And you’re a man?” That was probably what threw Dean off the most. After all, everyone knew that cars were girls.

The Impala chuckled, and looked up at him impishly. “Apparently so.”

“God damn it!” Dean muttered as he turned away. This really was hard for him to wrap his head around, since his beloved car was not only human but a man, but there were more pressing matters. “Why the hell would the witch mojo you human?”

“Well, she wanted to get away.” The Impala said as he decided to try lying on the bed. “No car, no coming after her.”

“Damn it!” Dean cursed again. He walked over to the fridge, because this whole situation called for a beer. The hunter paused before going on, trying to break the uncomfortable silence that had descended. “Look, do you have a name or something?”

The Impala sat up and smiled. “Baby.”

Dean spat out the sip of beer he had just took in. “No way am I calling you that.” He firmly said.

The Impala frowned at him. “But you always call me that,” he said, and if Dean didn’t know better, he would have said that he was pouting.

“Yeah, well, that’s before I knew you were all…” Dean couldn’t finish that sentence and ended up waving at him aimlessly to make his point.

“So?” The Impala shrugged. “I don’t see how that makes a difference. I’m still Baby, and you and your brother are still mine.”

Dean froze at that. “Yours?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, mine.” Baby said firmly. “You chose me, and later John gave me to you. In between, I was the one to shelter you both and give you a home. You’re mine.”

Unfortunately, Dean didn’t have an argument for that. Though rather than think that they belonged to the Impala, he had always thought that the Impala belonged to them. Still, the mention of Sam filled Dean with dread as something occurred to him.

How on Earth was he even going to start explaining this?

It seemed like it really was a case of speak of the Devil and he will come, though Sam must never know he thought that, for at that very moment, Sam walked in through the door. He looked up at Dean from where he opened the door, appearing surprised that he was there, but he immediately started talking.

“Hey, Dean, seems like the witch caused another – “ The words died on the giant’s lips as he took in the scene. Sam looked from Dean to the Impala and back. “Am I interrupting something?” He asked.

“What?” Dean’s face scrunched up. “No.”

Sam’s eyes went between the two figures. “Well, it’s not everyday I come to the room with the Impala missing out front and you alone in a room with a guy dressed in leather.” He backed up. “I think I’m just gonna have Cas take me back to the library.”

Dean facepalmed. “No, don’t.” He spoke through his fingers before taking his hand away from his face. He sighed as Sam stopped right in front of the door. “You see,” Dean pointed at Baby, “this is the Impala.”

Sam’s eyes narrowed and Dean found himself on the receiving end of a bitch face. The giant moose walked over to Dean and looked suspiciously at the glass bottle in his hand. “How many have you had already?” He gave his brother a disappointed look. “It’s barely after noon, Dean.”

“What?” Dean asked, indignant. “This is my first one! And I’m not drunk, that’s really the Impala.”

Sam snorted, but Baby interrupted. “He’s telling the truth, you know.”

Sam looked over at him, a dubious look on his face. “Sorry, sir, but – “

“That witch cast a spell on the Impala.” Dean quickly said, so his brother wouldn’t question his sanity and that of his car’s. “Turned him human apparently. Just look at him!”

And Sam did so. His eyes observed the man sitting on the bed, analyzing every bit of him, and when they finally widened, Dean knew his brother had gotten it. “What? How?” His mouth gaped open.

“Like I said, witch.” Dean leaned against the wall and took another sip of beer.

“So he’s the Impala?” Sam asked for clarification. He was studying Baby, and Dean just knew that the hamster wheel in his brain was turning.

“And he’s a guy! He’s a guy and the Impala.” Dean wanted to make that clear.

Sam turned back to Dean and narrowed his eyes. “Did you wish really hard?”

Dean spat out yet another sip. “Shut up, Sam! It’s not like that…” Before Dean could continue his protests, the door opened once more.

Castiel walked into the room looking down at the fast food bag in his hand. “Sam, they didn’t have salads, so instead I got you…” At this point, he looked up and his eyes narrowed as he took everything in. “What’s going on?” He finally asked, frowning.

Before either brother could even think of moving, the Impala was up near Cas with his hand outstretch. “Hi, I’m Baby.” He said with a flirtatious smile, though there was something different about this smile than the one he had given Dean.

“Oh, shut up!” Dean shouted at him, even as Castiel reached out his own hand to give him a quick handshake.

“Castiel.” The angel said, tilting his head ever so slightly.

“Oh, I know all about you, angel.” Baby pulled his hand back while giving Cas a wink. “You’re one of my favorite passengers.” Dean suspected that smile was bright enough to power Las Vegas.

Castiel’s brow furrowed. “You are not normally like this.” His gravely voice intoned, and it reminded Dean of when the angel’s future self had first looked at him. “I sense magic around you.”

Baby led Cas over to the bed to sit down. “Wow, cute and smart.” His eyes studied Cas right back, but there was something in his eyes that didn’t sit well with Dean. “I must say,” he commented as he sat back down, pulling the surprised angel with him, “you’re an even better sight to see in the flesh.”

Seeing the Impala getting into Cas’s space and looking at him like that made something ignite down in Dean’s gut. “Okay.” He said a bit too loudly, causing Baby and Sam to jump a little. Cas turned his gaze from the Impala over to Dean. “Did you say something about food?” He asked forcefully.

Castiel’s face flooded with remembrance. “Ah, yes.” He held up the food bag. “Sam asked me to go procure lunch for you and him after I dropped him off.”

Dean took the bag from him and wrenched it open harder than he normally would. He grabbed his own burger, then he handed the grilled chicken sandwich that was obviously for Sam in place of a salad. He got the fries out, and he noticed something else still in the bag. Dean pulled it out and felt his eyes widen a bit.

“Is this?” He asked quietly.

Cas turned towards him as he had been studying the Impala again. “Ah, I saw it on the menu and thought you would like it.” He smiled a tiny bit.

Dean clutched the baked apple pie to his chest like it was the most precious thing in the world. Something warm, completely different from the hot slippery feeling from earlier, grew in his chest. Despite the witch and how terrible this day had been shaping up, at least he finally had pie.

“Ah, that’s so thoughtful.” Baby said to Cas, drawing the angel’s attention. He smiled. “You’re a really nice guy.”

Castiel blinked at him, before turning back to the Winchesters. “Will someone tell me what’s going on yet?”

* * *

Dean explained the situation during their meal. He kept a careful eye on the Impala during the whole thing, because the guy kept creeping up into Cas’s space and, if he wasn’t mistaken, genuinely flirting with him. For some reason, that pissed him off.

His thoughts trailed off as he tried to think of a reason why that would piss him off, but before long, his attention was drawn back to the conversation as Cas gently place his fingertips on Baby’s face.

“I do not imagine this spell will last all that long.” The angel was saying. “The sort of ‘juice’ this type of spell would require means it is rather limited.” Castiel took his fingers away and tilted his head, a thoughtful expression on his face. “I believe it will only last 24 hours at most. Given the witch’s goals, that would be plenty of time for her to get away.”

“So, if we were to go after her, she probably wouldn’t be expecting us then.” Sam surmised. “She didn’t know that you were going to show up with your own car.”

“Most likely not.” Castiel agreed.

“24 hours, huh?” Baby slung his arm around Cas’s shoulders. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to make the most of it.” When Cas turned his head towards him, he smiled at him.

Dean was getting a pretty good idea of how the Impala wanted to make the most of his time.

However, all of the Impala’s charms didn’t seem to phase Cas as the angel turned back to look at Dean. Something in Dean felt relieved at that.

“If you managed to get something of hers, we could do a tracking spell and go after her.” Castiel never took his eyes off of Dean.

Dean could almost feel the light bulb going off over his head. “Oh, I did grab this.” He walked over to his duffle and picked up the single shoe that the witch had left behind.

Castiel held it for a moment and studied it, probably seeing something about it on the supernatural level. “This will do.” He stood. “I’ll go get the spell components from my vehicle.”

“What kind of spell is this anyway?” Sam asked, frowning.

“It is similar to the one I once used to track Anna.” Cas admitted as he made his way to the door. “Since we do not know the witch’s name, I have to use the shoe to make up for it.”

“Oh, I’ll help.” The Impala jumped up just as Castiel was exiting. Dean didn’t even have time to offer a small protest before the door was shut and the two were headed for Cas’s pimp car.

Dean grunted. He didn’t like the way that the Impala was hanging around Cas. It was making something twist uncomfortably in his stomach. He sighed and turned away from the sight of the two talking as Cas got some things from the trunk of his car. The hunter stopped short at the look his brother was giving him.

It was a look that made every sibling in the world instantly be on their guard. Sam’s face seemed to be twitching into a smile though he was suppressing it. Genuine amusement coated his expression and mischief colored his eyes. It made Dean nervous.

For several seconds, the two just looked at each other until Dean snapped. “What?” His tone seemed defensive to him.

“Are you…” Sam’s eyes flicked towards the window and back. “Are you jealous of the Impala?”

Dean jerked back at the assertion. “What the hell do you mean?” He shot out when he regained his voice. “Why on Earth would I be jealous of my own car?”

“Well,” that smile was twitching at his lips again, “ _Baby_ is paying a lot of attention to Cas, right? You hate it when people start messing with what you consider yours.”

“Cas isn’t mine! He’s a free angel!” Dean argued. “Cas can have whatever friends he wants.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think your car just wants to be friends.” Sam retorted, looking back through the window. Dean followed his gaze to see that Baby was leaning on the car and leaning into Cas’s personal space once more. He quickly turned away. “In some ways,” Sam snorted, “your car is a lot like you.”

“We’re nothing alike.” Dean felt offended somehow. Before meeting what was apparently the human version of his precious Impala, he would have thought that was a compliment. Even though he had always thought of his Baby as a girl, she was sleek and dangerous and he had liked the comparison. Now, he really didn’t want to be compared to that guy.

“Uh huh.” Sam said dryly, giving Dean a slight bitch face. “Besides, how well have you reacted the other times Cas has made friends?”

“I don’t have any clue what you’re talking about.” Dean replied. After all, he had never reacted badly to someone who was supposedly Cas’s friend.

Sam stared at him in shock. He sighed, looking down, and when he looked up again, there was a steely determination in his eyes.

It made Dean want to take a step back.

“Balthazar.” Sam said, holding up a finger. “Rachel. Meg. Hannah.” He listed them off so quickly that Dean couldn’t get a word in. “Every time he’s gotten close to someone who isn’t part of our family, such as in the case of Bobby, Kevin, and Charlie, you always start pouting and get defensive.” He was on a roll now. “And then you would take it out on Cas, because you simply can’t handle the fact that he can have friends outside of us.”

“No, I don’t.” Dean crossed his arms and glared at his brother. There was no way he was right. However, there was a small voice in the back of his head that was agreeing with Sam, and adding even more examples.

He ignored it as easily as he ignored his brother.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Dean.” Sam finally said, rolling his eyes before his face settled into standard bitch face position.

Dean would have had a great comeback. He knows he would have, except that was the moment that the Impala and Cas walked back into the room.

“And then what happened?” Cas asked, and he actually looked interested in what his car was saying.

“Well,” Baby said with a smile, “he didn’t want John to take his toy away or for Dean to steal it back even though he was ‘too old’ to be playing with such things, so Sam just crammed it into the ashtray.” He laughed and it lit up his whole face. “And it’s been there ever since.”

“Fascinating.” Cas seemed to genuinely say. A smile twitched on his lips.

“What are you doing?” Dean looked between the two, noticing the easy conversation that flowed among them. Cas actually looked comfortable and relaxed for once. Still, the Impala was standing too close to the angel for Dean’s comfort.

Cas looked up at Dean and his eyes were bright. “Baby has been regaling tales from your youth to me.” His smile widened a bit at the hunter’s incredulous look. “I was unaware of these stories as you never mention them.”

“Actually, even though I’ve been turned into this form, I still have them.” The Impala said, pulling out a battered army man from one of his jacket pockets and a small handful of Legos from his pants pocket. He displayed them proudly to Cas for a moment, who looked suitably impressed, before storing them away. “I’ve also got their initials carved into me.” He said, and then his expression flipped back into flirting mode. He leaned into Castiel’s space. “Want to see?”

Cas opened his mouth to answer, and it probably would have been a “yes” as the angel still had no clue how to interact with people despite his human experience and he tended to answer in the most awkward way possible. Dean cut him off though. “Okay.” He clapped his hands. “Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?” He gave everyone a strained smile, but only Sam seemed to see through it if the bitch face being sent his way was any indication.

The Impala just stood there looking smug. Luckily, Castiel apologized and then moved on. His movements were practiced, familiar, as he set up the spell. Dean watched his hands move gracefully as ingredients were selected and placed in the bowl. Dean’s attention was jerked away though as he felt eyes on him and turned to see that the Impala was standing next to him with a fond smile on his face. The car turned human leaned up to him and spoke softly so only Dean could hear.

“Don’t worry I’ve only told him stuff from when you were a kid.” He whispered. “After all, it would only hurt him if I told him all of my stories involving you and my backseat.”

Dean almost flinched, but held back. Of course his car, more than anyone else, would know all of the times that he had had someone in that seat. It was convenient and he had loved having sex back there, as it had been the closest thing to taking a girl home with him. He really didn’t want Cas to know all about that, though he didn’t see why it would hurt him.

“I am on your side, Dean.” The Impala leaned back, and for once, his eyes were serious. “I always have been.”

And wasn’t that the truth.

“So,” Sam said, as he’d obviously gotten bored with watching Cas prepare the spell and had wandered over. “Got anymore great stories?” His expression said that he was looking for fuel to aim at Dean the next time they were fighting.

“Oh, plenty.” The Impala was back to normal, chipper and exuding an aura of flirtiness without even putting any serious effort. Dean wondered if that moment had been his imagination. Still, the car was continuing. “The things that have been done on and in me, the junk that’s been in my trunk, the tales of my backseat,” here he gave Dean a wink, “I could go on for hours.”

“The backseat?” Sam asked curious, his eyes going to Dean. “Do tell.”

Dean bit back a growl, because was the Impala seriously doing this? He just said that he wouldn’t!

“Well,” Baby drawled, “you and Ruby seemed to enjoy it those couple of times.” He wrinkled his nose a bit as a disgusted expression crossed his face. “I gotta admit that I didn’t like the smell of sulfur on my seats though.”

Dean froze and his eyes jerked to his brother. Sam was frozen too, and his eyes were wide as he looked like someone who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“You had sex with her in my car?” Dean hissed, some old fury at the demon bitch leaking through.

“To be fair, I was kinda his at that point.” Baby said nonchalantly, as if he had not just dropped a bomb into the middle of the room.

Dean could feel himself working up to an explosion himself, the situation easily making him want to vent on his brother. Castiel saved the day by simply saying, “I’ve found her.” He was looking down into the bowl, seeing something they didn’t, and he leaned over and made a few marks on the map he had brought in. “Let’s go.” The angel looked up and finally seemed to notice the tension in the room. He frowned and tilted his head. “Is something wrong?”

The tension deflated. Dean ran his fingers through his hair. “No. Whatever.” It had been a long time ago anyway. There wasn’t any need to drag it out especially as Ruby was dead anyway.

“Shotgun!” Baby hopped up and made his way to the Pimpmobile.

Cas gave him a small, indulgent smile. “Very well.” Dean frowned. After all, usually that smile was only for him. He exchanged a glance with Sam, but his brother just shrugged, simply glad that the focus had left from his past.

“Damn it.” Dean muttered as he crawled into the back of the car.

He really didn’t like this.

* * *

It had taken several hours of driving, but finally they had caught up to the witch. Dean and Baby were forced to wait in the car, because the witch would surely recognize them. Instead, Cas and Sam had gone in after her. It didn’t sit right with Dean. Both of them were his responsibilities. He was supposed to go with them and make sure they were all right. Instead, he was sitting in a car with his car.

Sometimes, it really struck Dean how strange his life was.

He glanced over towards the Impala, who seemed fascinated with the Pimpmobile. His hands practically caressed the dashboard and there was a reverence in his eyes that Dean could not claim to have seen before. Baby smiled, and it wasn’t flirty or fake but gentle and kind.

“You’re not like I thought you would be.” Dean admitted before he even realized the words were on the tip of his tongue. He snapped his mouth shut.

The Impala chuckled. “I know.” He looked up at Dean with a smile. “You always thought that if I were human, I would have a few more curves I think.”

“Well, yeah, I always have referred to you as my girl.” Dean could see the humor in that and found himself laughing too. “But I was talking more about the way you act.”

“Ah.” Baby leaned back in his seat. “Well, that’s quite simple.

“Objects like me, well, we obviously aren’t like humans.” He glanced back at Dean. “We are made, not born. Therefore we are influenced by those who own us.”

“So, you’re like this what? Because of me?” Dean tried to work through it.

“In a way. After all, you are my favorite.” Baby smiled. “We reflect our owners in several ways, though the influence doesn’t necessarily go far unless there is a true connection.” His gaze returned to the Pimpmobile’s dash.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Dean’s brow furrowed as he watched the way his car touched Cas’s.

“This is a rarity.” Baby said simply.

“How?”

The Impala looked back at him. “This is the only time I will ever truly be alive. I get to talk to you, get to touch,” he reached out and touched Dean’s nose with a soft _boop!_ and a smile, “so like I said, I’m gonna make the most of it.”

“Then, why do you keep flirting with Cas?” The hunter knew it sounded like he was whining, but he couldn’t help it. Maybe Sam had been a bit right about Dean hating it when Cas made other friends.

Baby laughed. “Castiel is one of my favorite passengers, and he’s adorable most of the time. When he gets his whole wrath of God routine going though,” he sighed, “wow. And don’t deny it, because I know you’ve looked too.” Baby looked over at him with a coy look.

Dean felt heat rising in cheeks. He tried to pretend like he had no clue what he was talking about.

“I think most of it goes over his head though.” Baby sounded slightly disappointed. “Even with his time as a human, I guess he still doesn’t get the subtleties of flirting.”

“Even with your railroad approach?” Dean asked, because it had been pretty obvious to him.

“Take a lesson from my example if you do nothing else.” The Impala shrugged.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean asked testily.

Before the Impala could respond, Castiel and Sam were back. Dean raked his eyes over them, but he didn’t see any signs of injuries.

“Done.” Sam said with a teasing grin. “I don’t see why you had so much trouble with her, Dean.”

Dean scowled at him. “Yeah, yeah. Can we go back now?”

Cas frowned. “I believe the witch caught Dean off guard. For us, however, we had the element of surprise, Sam.”

Dean turned his dry look to Cas. As much as Cas was trying to defend him, he really didn’t want it. “Let’s go.” He said as he leaned back.

Sam snickered a bit as he slid into the back seat. Cas got into the driver’s seat, but didn’t start the car just yet. Instead, he turned to the Impala. “I believe our dealing with the witch may have drastically reduced the time of the spell. Is there something you wish to do?” The angel asked sincerely.

Dean blinked at his consideration. Then he narrowed his eyes at the Impala. Given what had happened so far, he didn’t like what the guy might demand.

Baby smiled at the angel. “How about some pie? I’ve always wanted to try some.”

Actually, Dean could get behind that sort of request. He looked at Cas as well. “Hey, it’s potentially the guy’s last night as a human. He deserves some pie.”

Cas looked at him in the rear-view mirror. “Of course, Dean.” He turned the key and they were headed to the nearest diner.

* * *

“Ah! That was great!” Baby sighed as he left the diner.

“Yeah.” Dean said sardonically. After all, the pie had been everything he could have wanted, but the guy seemed flirt as easily as he breathed. Just by saying hello, it was like he was flirting. Despite this, his attention stayed on Castiel. It didn’t put Dean in the best of moods.

Of course, Sam hadn’t really helped by giving him these knowing looks. At one point, he even coughed and it had sounded suspiciously like “Jealous.”

Cas, on the other hand, had been oblivious as always. He had eaten a slice of chocolate pie though, and it was the first time Dean had seen him eat it. The angel had apparently had it before, while he was human, and he seemed to agree with Dean’s opinion on pie at least.

At his words however, Castiel gave him a disapproving look.

“What?” Dean asked him. He really hated it when Cas looked at him like that.

“I would have thought that you would be excited to meet your car in the flesh as you say.” Cas’s eyes turned back to the Impala, who was talking to Sam over by Cas’s Pimpmobile.

“Yeah, it is pretty cool.” Dean admitted. And it really had been. Even with all of the flirting, it had been cool to talk to Baby and see things from his perspective. “But it’s just odd. He just acts so…”

Castiel was silent for a moment. “Jimmy was my first vessel.” Dean looked at him, not quite understanding the sudden change of topic. The angel’s eyes became wistful. “I remember how it felt and how everything felt different.” His eyes returned to the car turned human. “He is experiencing many of the same things I did,” his gaze saddened, “but only for such a short amount of time.”

Dean paused. He hadn’t thought of it that way before. If any of them could try to understand what it was like to be one way of being and then thrust into another, it was Cas. Still, that didn’t mean that the guy had to constantly hit on the angel.

“Is that why he keeps flirting with you?” He asked, and then he wanted to bang his head against the nearest wall, because what was he saying! He hadn’t meant for that to slip out.

Castiel gave him a confused look. “What?”

“Nothing!” Dean said quickly.

Understanding, to Dean’s chagrin, bloomed in Cas’s eyes. “Ah.” He smiled. “Do not fear, Dean. Baby does indeed experience some longings, but they are not directed towards me.” He directed Dean’s gaze towards the Impala, who was once more gently touching the Pimpmobile.

It clicked.

“No way.” Dean breathed. There was no way that such a thing was possible.

“Your vehicle may like me.” Cas huffed out a breath, which was his equivalent of a laugh. “However, he likes my own vehicle more.”

“You’re saying that my car loves your car?” Dean was incredulous as he stared at the scene.

“Indeed.” Castiel looked over at the hunter. “He has been trying ever since I arrived to get closer to my car in any way he can.” His eyes fell back on the scene before him. “I believe that this could be called sweet, correct?”

Dean sputtered, unable to form words.

How the hell was this his life?

“Come.” Castiel said as he moved to join the other two. Dean followed after him, running his hand through his hair. In all honesty, he was getting too old for this crap. It was surprising for something to surprise him like this.

The Impala looked up for a moment, his normal smile on his face. Then, it flickered and died as he frowned and looked down at himself. The brothers exchanged glances, wondering what was wrong now. However, Cas understood what was happening as he and Dean came up. 

“It appears your time is up.” He said sadly.

“Yeah,” Baby’s expression was also sad. He ran his hand over the hood of the Pimpmobile. “But thanks for letting me get close to her while I could. I’ll never have another opportunity like this.”

“You have to go.” Dean was slightly surprised at the pained twinge he felt at the thought. After all, he couldn’t wait for things to go back to normal so he could slide behind the wheel and try to forget this whole thing ever happened.

“Yeah.” The Impala said again, and he leaned forward and pulled both brothers into a hug. Then, he drew back and gathered Cas into his arms. “It’s been nice being able to talk to you like this.”

Cas stepped back out of his arms, a thoughtful expression on his face. “I am not at full power, but maybe…” He lifted his fingers and gave a sharp snap.

In the blink of an eye, the Pimpmobile was no longer parked where it had been. In its place stood a woman. She had straight blonde hair falling all the way to her mid-back and a golden fedora with silver accents perched on top of her head. Her spaghetti-strap dress matched the color of her hat, the skirt portion flaring out a bit and hem falling to just below her knees. She wore silver sandals and belt that matched her hat’s accents, with her belt buckle saying IA B2676. Hazel eyes were wide and her pink lips were slightly open as she looked down in wonder at her hands. Those eyes came up to look at the group before her. Joy filled her expression as she smiled.

“Baby!” She held out her arms, and the Impala quickly filled them as he threw his arms around her. Both of them were laughing and without giving their audience a thought, they passionately kissed.

“Uh, wow.” Sam looked away, obviously uncomfortable with the display. Dean found himself unable to stop watching the tongue action that was going on right before his eyes. When he finally managed to rip his eyes away from it, he glanced at Cas. The angel had a small smile on his face, simply happy for the odd couple.

It probably did not last as long as it felt, but soon the two humanoid cars were drawing away from each other. They drew back from each other, but remained holding each other’s hands as they gazed into each other eyes.

Somehow this staring was even more uncomfortable than the kissing.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Honey.” The Impala said softly, that sad smile returning to his face.

“Right back at you, Baby.” The Pimpmobile replied, releasing one hand in order to come up and stroke the Impala’s face.

Sam and Dean turned to Castiel. “You call your car ‘Honey?’” Dean asked. For some reason, that was the most surprising thing in all of this.

Castiel blinked and looked up at the brothers. His brow furrowed. “I liked it, and it seemed appropriate.” He explained.

They had spoken softly, but their words were enough to draw the couple out of their little world. Still holding hands, they turned towards Cas. “Thank you.” Honey said, giving her owner a smile.

“You and you-know-who are welcome to add to my backseat stories anytime.” Baby said with a wink. Dean had no clue who he was referring to, but there did seem to be a slight blush on Castiel’s cheeks.

“Mine’s also free for that kind of action.” Honey concurred, and the couple exchanged another sappy glance.

“So I guess this is good-bye then?” Dean abruptly changed the subject. Whatever they had been talking about made him uncomfortable even though it was directed at the angel next to him.

The two looked at each other.

“Not really.” Baby said.

“We’ll always be here, even though it’s the only time we got to talk.” Honey agreed.

“So, it’s more like ‘hello’ than anything else.” He continued.

“It was very nice to finally meet you all.” She gave them a final smile.

With a flash of light, causing the Winchesters to blink, the two figures were gone. In their place, side-by-side in their parking spaces, were two cars that were parked a lot closer than one normally would have them.

“So that’s it.” Dean finally said. Almost belatedly, he wondered what the patrons at the diner thought about all that had been going on, or if they had even noticed. Given his experience as a hunter, he would bet that they hadn’t seen a thing.

“Yes.” Cas agreed, his eyes sad as he looked at the two cars.

The three of them were silent for a moment. Then, Sam spoke, “That was a nice thing you did for her, making her human even for such a time.”

Castiel was quiet for so long that the brothers thought he probably wouldn’t answer. “They deserved to be happy and together, even if only for a moment.” He concluded.

Dean nodded. Happiness was a rarity in their line of work, and given everything that these cars had carried them through, they deserved a bit of happiness. Suddenly, what Cas had done really hit Dean. “Hey,” he asked the angel, “are you okay? I mean, the damage Metadouche did to your grace is still affecting you, right?”

The angel looked up at him. “I’m fine.” And it actually sounded like that was a genuine answer rather than the normal lie that tried to cover up the latest pain.

“Good.” Dean nodded. He turned his eyes back to the cars. “Agh!” He said, and the others turned to him, startled. “How exactly do I live in a universe where my Baby’s a guy and Cas’s pimp car is a girl? It’s not fair!” He whined. After all, he never would have guessed that line-up.

Castiel smiled a bit, while Sam snickered at Dean’s antics. Just for now, they were at peace and they were together and Dean wouldn’t have it any other way. They deserved a bit of happiness too.

As the brothers made their way to the Impala to drive to the nearest motel and Cas went to his own car with the promise to join them, the memory of the two car’s kiss crossed Dean’s mind. In its wake were the echoes of the Impala’s words about how they reflected their owners and his hints of Cas getting into the backseat.

It couldn’t be that…

Dean brushed the thought away to look at a later date. It probably meant nothing, but the deepest part of him that he generally ignored whispered that it could be everything.

With clear thoughts and an open road before him, Dean drove off with his brother at his side and his angel behind him.

It hadn’t been such a bad day after all, even with witches.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: So as you can tell I modeled the Impala off of John Barrowman. The Pimpmobile was modeled after Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Their ages were exactly right for the cars and I liked the contrast of the two.
> 
> Ahh, this was written back in the days when the Pimpmobile was still around. Not that there's anything wrong with the truck, but it doesn't have the same charm and humor. This was also before I knew Cas had taken a vessel before, but considering this is from 2015, please forgive my mistakes.
> 
> Also, as you might have been able to tell, this entire fic started when I imagined Sam saying some lines from a particular episode of Doctor Who. Did you catch the references? (That was actually what came to mind first and then I built the rest of the fic around it. Plus John Barrowman as the Impala was too powerful to resist.)


End file.
